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Saturday, February 17, 2007

RH: Robert's Thoughts on American bestiality 6

From: Robert Ho (ho3@pacific.net.sg)
Subject: RH: Robert's Thoughts on American bestiality 6
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Newsgroups: soc.culture.singapore
Date: 2003-05-31 14:26:15 PST

1. 8% of American men and 3% of American women have sex with animals.
But since they are Americans, this cannot be considered interspecies

2. Many American women have sex with animals. (This means, literally,
dogs, horses, etc, and not just their usual boyfriends).

3. When an American man calls an American woman a 'bitch', it just
may be a term of endearment elevating her to his favourite sex animal.

4. When an American man boasts that he is having great sex with his
Laura, Lynne, Alma, Joyce, Lilian and Leslie, he is probably referring
to his dog, horse, pig, cat, sheep and chicken.

[This series inspired by the below article, gratefully acknowledged to
the genius of rebuttal, MetaVirus]


Robert Ho
18 May 03
UK 0516 S'pore 1216

5. When a Chinese sees a new animal, he immediately begins thinking
how to cook it. The American immediately removes his pants.

6. In 28 States of America, it is legal to have sex with animals. In
the other 22, the animals probably haven't won control of government

Robert Ho
19 May 03
UK 1610 S'pore 2310

7. A Chinese eating a steak is just a Chinese eating a steak. An
American eating a steak is cannibalism.

8. In America, it seems women prefer to own a dog than date a man
with Viagra.

9. When an American owns a dog, it's only bestiality. When he owns
two, it's a Love Triangle.

10. Some American wives worry about The Other Woman. Others, The Other

11. Many Americans buy DogFancy magazine for the same reason we buy

12. American Sexual Preferences Classification: Hetero, Homo, Animo;
and Straight, Bi, Tri.

13. In the 22 American States where sex with animals is still illegal,
it's only because the legislators are still virgins.

Robert Ho
20 May 03
UK 1529 S'pore 2229

14. In American etymology and sexual practice, "petting" derives from

15. Man's best friend is the American's best sex.

16. A Chinese riding a horse is just a Chinese riding a horse. An
American riding a horse is foreplay.

17. Pat a Frenchman's dog and it will wag its tail. Pat an American's
dog and it will mount you.

18. When American dogs learn to talk, the first thing they'll say is,
"Not tonight again, dear, I've a headache."

19. Americans keep dogs for the same reason their Presidents keep

20. Jilt an Italian and he heads for the bordello. Jilt an American
and he heads for the pet shop.

21. In America, the trafficking in animals is bigger than the
trafficking in women.

22. In 28 States of America, sex with animals is legal. In the other
22, the animals haven't learnt how to bring charges yet.

Robert Ho
21 May 03
UK 1504 S'pore 2204

23. What a man's earring says about his sexual preferences the
American's nose-ring says about his dog.

24. Americans who tire of dogs and horses are now trying the Camel

25. No dog or horse dildos sell in the US because women there have
discovered that animals don't have their men's short comings, I mean,

26. Many Americans pass a pet shop with the same excitement we pass a

Robert Ho
22 May 03
UK 1655 S'pore 2355

27. When an American has sex with a horse, the offspring is a mule.

28. Americans usually forbid their children from dating someone from
another race but not something from another species.

Robert Ho
31 May 03
UK 2223 S'pore 0523